Several things have kept me from blogging (seems that others have been a bit light on their entries as well… hehehe).
1. Life has been busy and while your trying to keep up with everything it’s hard to find time to post updates.
2. Been feeling a bit discouraged about the list for a few reasons:
A) While I tried to give myself some latitude for these projects in order to keep them manageable… I feel guilty for not giving the effort that was intended. For example; number one, I fully intended to do a full daily practice of my own and the ten minutes that was stipulated was meant to keep me going at it daily even if I was exhausted or ill. Or in case there was such time constraints that I really couldn’t manage more. But more often then not, ten minutes has been the only effort made. For number seventy-five, the intention was to dedicate time to each of the girls… real one-on-one time where they have my full attention. We could have fun together and talk so that they could feel heard and know that they are a huge priority. This should really be a daily thing… but I only put weekly because I pictured us taking walks together, going out for ice cream or something fun… and that’s not what we’ve been doing. I realized there was a recent week that there was no real time spent with my oldest… and that is sad! Mentioned it while dropping her off to yet another activity and she suggested we catch a movie the next day. I need to make more of an effort at this goal… they grow up too fast not to.
B) Number five has become unreasonable to expect weekly… and I just don’t know how to feel or what to do about it.
C) Comments were made to me that seem to suggest that others think there are items that I could not or would not expect to do myself. That really stings! I deliberately did not include things that I didn’t fully intend on putting forth effort to accomplish… Yes, I CAN paint a fucking shelf!
Sharing the list publicly is a way of being accountable for it, right? It’s a way to get support and encouragement… network ideas, share your passion… share a hope for a better future… perhaps inspire others. Am I wrong here? Here is the final bit of discouragement:
D) Seems that the list has become a topic of conversations that have concluded with the general consensus that I’m self-absorbed and my list proves it. Well, I’m baffled and hurt. How do you make a list like this that is not pretty much all about you? There are things on there that are for "the greater good"… but really, it’s 101 things that I care about either way.
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6 comments:
hi kimz! don't worry about the naysayers. you still have time to complete your list. we're not even half a year into it. the important thing is you're making progress, and giving it your best shot. keep your chin up. as my japanese language teacher says, "gambatte ne!" good luck!
I agree with Gail - don't listen to the naysayers! It's a real shame that people feel the need to pick apart our choices when our choices fall outside conventional things.
101/1001 is not "the norm" - and I'm quite happy and fine with that. Luckily I have friends who are either supportive or at worst just roll their eyes and accept that this is part of who I am. Some people did comment on some of my goals as not being "worthy" or "needing a lot of effort" but so what? I wanted to score more than 350 in a game of Scrabble, and it took some doing (just happened sooner than I thought). I wanted to replay Resident Evil 4, and I took the time out to do that; I didn't do it for anyone else, I just did it for me.
Keep going, don't worry if you find yourself falling short; while I am aiming to do all 101 things, I am totally going to have learned something about myself even if I don't get them all ticked off by the end. I'm sure you will with yours.
(wow, this comment ended up quite long!)
I'm going to be blogging more over the coming weeks now that my viva is out of the way :) Look forward to reading stuff from you too!
Hang in there - I don't know what kind of people have the time to go around making critical comments on a self-improvement-type journal, but I'm sure it's not anyone whose opinion you should care for!
Oh no!! Oh no.
Unfortunately, there will always be people who are not supportive, and who cut others down. I think they do it because they are not happy with where they are at in their lives. Don't let them impact you! Your list is beautiful, and inspires others to do good things!
Come back! We miss you!
I'm sorry to hear that people were putting in their negative 2 cents. I, too, am guilty of taking a break from updating and questioning things. I hope all is well and I look forward to seeing what else you conquer on your list! :)
Gail, Zero, Kathy, Bethany, and Leah!
Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving me words of encouragement! You guys rock!! Still plugging away at the big list but haven't made any time to blog about it... I think about you guys and hope you are doing well!
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